Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Dear Mom

I can't believe it has been 9 years since you went to be with the Lord. I am so thankful that I can say that - you are with Him. I can remember for years of me asking you "do you know where you are going if you died right now" and your answer, "I know the Lord and He knows me" - but on May 1, 2000 it was an incredible day - the day you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. It sure made going the rest of the way through cancer with you much easier.

I really believe that in my heart you know just what has happened to us since then, but I just need to replay the times in my mind for now. To think about how happy you would have been to go through all of this with us, because you said if God healed you physically, you would stay with us and not move back home.

Well we stayed in Ohio for almost two years after you passed away. The church people there we so good to us. I am glad that you got to know them and know what it meant to be loved and treated well by the church. God knew that something was missing in my life after you passed away and He sent a little ray of sunshine into my life by the name of Ethan Douglas. I know how happy you would be to know he was named after Daddy. There is no doubt that God walked you over to the edge of heaven and let you see the look on my face when I read that pregnancy test. I can see the smile on your face now. I was about as shocked as you were when you found out I was pregnant with Crickette when I gave you the prescription for prenatal vitamins and you knew I was suppose to be getting birth control pills.
Amber didn't stay with Brian and even had another boyfriend in High School. You would have loved getting her all dolled up for prom the next years. I think you would have had as much fun as I did. I think the most fun you had was when you bought her that hot pink dress for her to be in the Little Miss Headland Pageant.

Before Ethan came along we moved to Fort Mill, SC. This too would have been a place that you would have loved to be. This is where your first grand-daughter found her true love, Steven. She got her a Mississippi boy and from Jackson too. I think you might have picked him out for her if you had a chance. Crickette found a sport she loved and it was Volleyball, they even won the championship. You always thought she was a social butterfly and that she is! Paxston actually loved school in Fort Mill. You would not have liked it when Ethan got his first stitches, then broke his foot and had an allergic reaction to the medicine he was on and turned purple all over. It got kind of crazy with him for about 2 months!

Mema's health got pretty bad and we moved back to Alabama to be with her so she could enjoy Ethan. Paxston hated school here so I home schooled him. He did pretty good. Crickette was on the Drill Team for the band and was very good! You would especially loved her first truck - it was RED! And you would have also loved her prom dress - it was a Cheetah print, with red nails of course! It was then that you got to see Mema next. I am sure that when she got to heaven she filled you in on lots of stories, her favorite probably being Ethan playing outside with the water hose and stripping down to nothing! And then how bad she felt when he had the 12 stitches in his hand. Amber got married in 2009 at her school campus where they met. The wedding was just perfect and the ring on her finger was yours, just as planned, so she can think of you very often. She is making a great wife and you would enjoy reading her blog. She is quite a writer, guess she gets that from Daddy. We even put touches of you in the wedding, we used your green dishes to serve the candy in. Touches of her grandmother's were a perfect addition!

After Pepa got remarried we knew it was time for Chris to get back into the ministry full time. I can still hear you saying "I think he is the next Billy Graham". He is still an awesome preacher and God is using him in great ways, just like you knew He would! So now we are in Chesnee, SC. Now this place you would love, we are nestled between Lake Blalock and seeing the seasons change here is incredible. Chris bought a motorcycle in Alabama, but I just started riding it with him. I know you would not disapprove because I know how much you loved them, after all a motorcycle group had a ride for you. You would be so proud of Paxston, he joined the Navy. He looks so good in his uniform, and I know you loved a man in uniform! You would have been crying the hardest when we got to experience his boot camp graduation! And Chicago - you and I would have had a great time seeing the city together. I take you in my heart everywhere and think about how much you would like what I am seeing very often! Crickette is in cosmetology school and you would more than likely want her to cut your hair instead of me! I would love to see her wax your eyebrows, now that would be a hoot! No steady boyfriend yet, you know that saying you have to kiss alot of toads to find that prince... Ethan is playing t-ball and I am sure that you would be the loudest person cheering for him on the sidelines, and even last week, you would have been like me and decided that since the men were not stepping up, you would have coached 3rd base while I coached 1st. Oh yea, Amber is Senior Accountant at a company now, wonder where she got all those smarts from? You have incredible grandchildren!

So today my heart is heavy, but only because I miss my time with you. I guess I was spoiled because for your last year I got to see you every day and even when we didn't live together, I talked to you every day. The relationship I had with you was rare and I just want you to know how much I truly treasured it. You were an incredible mother and you did an awesome job raising me after dad passed away. You helped shape me into a very independent woman (sometimes that is my downfall) but I am blessed!

I love you and miss you and today I will think about all the good times that we had and the laughs that we shared. Right now I am remembering you telling me to wake up on our trip to Jackson, when the truck driver kept passing you and then slowing down, and then passing again. You told me that you might need a witness in case you had to the use the gun. Then next time he passed you - you just held the gun up to the window and showed him. He never passed you again! So with that I will continue my day with a smile!


  1. What a wonderful post!!!!!! I feel like I got such an inside scoop into your life!! I am thinking about you today and hoping that you smile all day when thinking of your mother and have no sadness. I know she would be proud of you and your family! :)

  2. Well you read behind me and Amber, so you do know alot about us! It's a great way to get to know each other, that is why I also like reading yours too!

  3. I thought of her all day yesterday too - most on Mother's Day. For some reason I always equate her death with Mother's Day.

  4. It was the day before, and the first anniversary was on Mother's Day. Then in 2008 it was the day that you graduated from Wingate.

  5. Wish I could have known her too. Thanks for the warning you gave me earlier by the way. :)

  6. What an amazing blog. I should be ashamed of myself. Reading this makes me realize more than ever how much I take my parents for granted. I am blessed to have them both still living and sharing my days with me. I know at some point we must all face the loss of those we hold closest to us. This is something I truely fear. I am not sure that I could go through my life without them. How selfish of me to take one single second for granted. God bless you Stacey! Missi