Tuesday, September 28, 2010

You Know Your The Pastor's Wife When....

I found these thoughts on two different websites - they are listed at the bottom. My comments are in purple! Enjoy.

1.You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…you are rarely referred to by your given name. You are most often “The Pastor’s Wife” or a variation on that theme (“Pastor ______’s Wife,” “Married to the Pastor,” etc.). You may even be called “The First Lady” (which I find personally unnerving—I don’t know why). (This has never bothered me, except when I was called that in front of a former pastor's wife of the church we were serving) In our church, there’s a guy from Brooklyn, NY who calls me “The Underboss.” Now THAT I can handle. (This would unnerve me!)
2.You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…people act weird around you. I was once in a conversation with a group of adults when one woman said, “Yeah, I haven’t been to church in a while.” As soon as she said it, she looked at me with an “I’ve been caught” look and then she said, “Oops…busted.” For the record, I don’t take attendance. I am not a babysitter. And my general feeling is that adults can and should make their own decision about if and when they attend church. Heck, it takes all my energy to make sure I make it to church let alone the rest of the population. ( I usually want to throw in "It's not me you should worry about!")
3.You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…you relate best to anyone NOT in your church. This is largely due to #2, however it’s also because you don’t know how to deal with the I – have – no – idea – how – much – to – share – with – you – about – my – personal – life – because – it – will – most – likely – involve – issues – about – my – husband – leaving – his – underwear – around – (or something similar) – and – my – husband – is – your – pastor – and – you – probably – don’t – want – to – hear – about – his – underwear. (And this has been in every church we have been at! My best friends are not church members...need to clarify that, they are not church members at the church I am serving at, they might get offended with me saying they are not church members...HA HA . And if you are friends with current church members they swear that when my husband uses an illustration that could possibly resemble something in their lives, they get mad at ME - I will share about being a LOYAL friend later!!)
4.You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…you wish you had a dime for every time someone claims your husband said something that he never said. If you did, you would be a very, very rich woman. And if you had another dime for every time what he supposedly said was ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS and UTTERLY STUPID, you’d double your money. (We would be taking very expensive vacations!!)
5.You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…”rich” (monetarily speaking) is not in your vocabulary. Never has been. Never will. (We have to remember that our reward is on the other side - my mansion will be in heaven - but the house I live in now is pretty awesome!)
6.You know you’re a pastor’s wife when…you’re either extremely uncomfortable or extremely gleeful (depending on your personality) when you’re in a conversation with someone who uses lots of four-letter words and then asks you the question, “So, what does your husband do?”
(Got that one before, and then they apologize for what they just said! They look at you very different when they know your husband is a pastor)
7. Everyone at church knows your name, address and phone number by heart. And you are still struggling to remember every person's name and how they are related to each other. (Absolutely - and I hate it when I call somebody by the wrong name! I hate it when they call the house thinking they have the church, asking what time the service starts...)
8. Everyone asks you how you are feeling and how you like the weather, but the conversation will never get deeper than that. (OH YES!)
9. People are always asking if you want their old couch, extra bed, lawn chairs, etc. etc. (Wait, the 27 inch TV downstairs is pretty awesome - and we have three empty rooms furnished! I know that over our 20 years of ministry we have give away a HOUSE full of furniture, God has blessed us by giving back - it's been very nice items that we have received)
10. Your children know exactly what you are talking about when you mention church, and run up to the building as excited as if it were home. (Funny - I had one child that I didn't visit churches when Chris went to preach because he didn't like the change!)
11. When you have a baby you are showered with gifts and cards and over a weeks worth of meals, but you have no one to help around the house or babysit your children. (HA HA - TRUE but we have been blessed a few times!)
12. Everyone else talks about their family parties, get-togethers, dinners and Christmas gifts and then they ask what you are doing for Christmas and all you can say is "church". (This really should be at the top of the list! Pastor's do not normally live anywhere near family. But I will say that we have been blessed to get to enjoy some functions - we are not always shut out, but some holidays we are)
13. Everyone says how nice it must be that your husband has "flexible" hours and can "drop by to help you out whenever you need it". And you can't explain that even though you live close to the church and you husband can make it home for lunch almost every day, he works every weekend and holiday, is on call for hospital visits or counseling at anytime, and he is gone at meetings 3 out of 7 nights a week, sometimes more. (Where is the local support group we need to start?)
14. You can call someone from church whenever something in the Parsonage breaks down and they will come and fix it in a day or 2. Umm.....I don't need to say anything here, I have a ceiling that leaked last night.... :-)
15. People randomly show up at your door (usually just as your toddlers have stripped their clothes off and emptied the garbage can) to check on something in the house, drop something off, ask the pastor something, etc.etc. (Not all churches have been that way, but most have. For some reason those people think that you are renting and they need to inspect to make sure you are doing what you should - and seriously who puts white/cream carpet in the parsonage - oh yea, the women who love it but don't want to clean it, they get put on the decorating committe and think it's a lovely idea)
16. You can't mention any questions or doubts about the particular "brand" of church you are serving. You have to be 100% party-line or you could cause major problems in the faith lives of church members. (Laughing here)
17 . You feel a strange sense of loyalty and concern for the people you are serving, even though you know that in a few years when you leave they will forget all about you in a few months time.
(Absolutely, that is what we are called to do - and when we do leave, some will forget but others will be talking for the next few years, "Well the last preacher's wife...." how many times have we heard this?)
18. You know you are the preachers wife when you wonder what will be ask of you when you are invited to lunch!!

These were found at: (my link button doesn't work - sorry)



  1. Love it! I have to send this post to my mom! Hey just wanted to stop by and let you know I just launched my new kids cooking site called Belleicious Kids this morning. I am beyond excited and nervous about it. I would love for you to come visit and give it some support. It would mean the world to me! Also, I have giveaways all week long on Kitchen Belleicious (including today) to celebrate Belleicious Kids! Hope you can come by! Love ya and thanks!

    XO Jessica